Reading tao te ching

Reading is not as simple as interpreting per word to object. It's more of arranging word in the world of imagination. Like self hypnotizing to enter another dimension of the world. Like seeing the world with others eyes.

Words are magically seal our image, sound, feeling, thinking, time, through simple combination of symbol.

I wonder whose the first creator of word.

Lately I've been doing some reading. Tao Te Ching is the book I've been reading lately. The Tao Te Ching was written in China roughly 2,500 years ago at about the same time when Buddha expounded the Dharma in India and Pythagoras taught in Greece. The Tao Te Ching is probably the most influential Chinese book of all times. Its 81 chapters have been translated into English more times than any other Chinese document. Tao literally means "the way".

I haven't finished it yet, and i found something from reading. Not because it teach me a "How to", but because one sentence consists lot of meaning. Many book nowadays are mostly straight forward, easy to understand book. I don't think it's wrong to be straight forward, but it made me realize that there's a lot of different approach to do one thing.

Qur'an, Bible, Bhagavad Gita, and other sacred script are books that use the concept of "one words with thousand meaning". It made me sad that a lot of people or group interpret the script literally. There is more than words in that text. There is world sealed by the bar of code in there. I would dare to say that it has different purpose for different people.

Back to Tao Te Ching, there's some sentence that made me relaxed and smile.

Part of chapter 2:
"Under heaven all can see beauty as
beauty only because there is ugliness.
All can know good as good only
because there is evil."

Chaper 7:
"Heaven and Earth last forever.
Why do heaven and Earth last forever?
They are unborn,
So ever living.
The sage stays behind, thus he is ahead.
He is detached, thus at one with all.
Through selfless action, he attains fulfillment."

Save the text for later, night is coming. Good night :)

one life, one's life

what is life? why is life? that's one of the biggest unanswered question in my life. Why there is life, where does life come from. When does the beginning of life? Everything in this world is living, right? Life consist of either physic material, and/or undiscovered material (something like soul, light, aura, time, wave, etc).

God is never a question in my life. God is always my answer :). But my brain kept hunger for partial answer. Something like, why bicycle move like that, and brain want the answer per part, like: the pedal being pushed, then the chain move the gears, and the gears rotate the wheel. Everytime I ask where does life came from, where does it start, I kept telling myself that beginning and end is a law that God apply to God's creation. But now it's not satisfying anymore.

I know that everything is a circle. Circle of life. Everything goes in a cyclic motion. Earth rotate the sun, electron rotating the proton and neutron, human life keep rotating, life death, and live again. Reincarnation is a cycle.

I don't even know why do I life, so right now, I have no strong desire or will to live. What do I live for? Do you know what do you live for?

My friend, crot, once tell me this: "basically, human only wants happiness". It's true. But there will be no happiness without sad and sorrow.

Formal education for 16 years or more is never teach me life. They only teach me survival. It's more like 16 years training for survival. And money has became survival kit. But they never tell me why do we need to survive?

My physical body may move with desire as a fuel, but my soul is empty, hunger for something I dont even know. What is my soul apetite?

7 arts for 7 days: friday, saturday, sunday

I haven't had a single free time to makes art lately. The project became half abandoned. It's a sad day T.T. A lot things happen, and unexpected.

I began to think, maybe because I kinda think of it as an obligation rather than something that I want to do for fun and happiness. 

For me, to make art is something hard to start, and hard to finish. I'm a moody person, with lack of initiative, and lack of desire for finish thing. It's always like that since I graduate from high school.

Now that I remember, I began to use my brain for thinking about good and bad, or do or not to do, when I started college life. I don't know whether I'm happy or sad, but at least I feel I'm alive now.

But after I know that I'm alive, I started to think of what is life, why is life. What is life, and why do I live?

7 arts for 7 days: thursday

Drawing pen is one of my favorite tools for drawing. Here's my thursday art:

Here's the coloured version:

You do the best, and let the software do the rest :)

24 March, 2010 7 arts for 7 days: wednesday

Up there is unfinished illidan fanart I made last night. It's still far from finish due to personal activity. I first draw a sketch on paper, then i shot it with my digicam, and I trace it with gimp. I use mouse (again) because I dont have a wacom.

Well, I have 2 graphic tablet, and both is useless for digital painting. The 1st is my old UC-Logic super pen tablet, which I got from my brother. It was a good graphic tablet until the pen broke. The second is the ultimate ugly lack of sensitivity Genius G-Pen 340. God, that was a good for signing only.

I hope I could finish it at the end of the week. Btw, I still havent make art for thursday. So little time so much to do..

7 arts for 7 days: tuesday

Accidentally, I opened the GIMP on my computer, and start drawing with my mouse. Yes, it was without concept. Yes, it was without graphic tablet. Yes, it was at night. And no, i'm not drunk. Gimp is a great tools, I just realized.. Especially the smudge tool, its similar to smudge in MyPaint. Anyway, heres the big picture:

I mention before that the smudge tool in Gimp is superb. Photoshop's smudge tool is nowhere near the Gimp. You know, i began digital painting since high school. It's fun, but I only do digital painting a couple of time. Weird.. I don't really know why I manage to graduate from college. My early works were horrible. I would bury my head to mother earth if I see it. Anyway, I use the paintbrush and eraser as my main tool for sketching and colouring, and i use smudge tool for making the depth of the picture. Hey, I just realize that I only use 3 tools for this work ^^, oh, and zoom in and zoom out tools, and colour tools, etc etc -.-".. oh well :)

7 arts for 7 days

I'm trying to improve my skills on graphic design, so I decide to produce 1  illustration a day for 7 day starting 2 days ago. Here's my works on monday:

It's the 1st time I draw realistic style with colour pencils, even though I'm a graphic design graduated -.-". Based on Aya Ueto's face, i began drawing at night, using faber-castell water colour pencils on my sketch book. I feel i slightly grasp this technique. Practice makes perfect no?

Gag Goes Open Source

Its been a loooong time since I update my blog. I've been busy studying last year, and working after that. Now that I'm free, I have more time to continue what i have started long ago.

First, i wanna talk about what happen to me. I'm a WindowsⓇ for almost, in entire time of my life. I find Windows is great, and its free (for me who has always been loyally used pirated copy of Windows since.. emm.. Windows 98..). Yeah its been a disease that spread in my country (Indonesia) rapidly, and its commonly used from home to office, from little kid to government. So the one who dont use windows become minority and treated like total geek (or an alien), except for mac users. Windows has support for lot of superb softwares like adobe family, 3ds Max, lots and lots of games with state of art graphic and gameplay. I use adobe family, Max, games like warcraft 3, mass effect, assassins creed etc, (cracked version) and its been great :D.. Until I got enlightened (and got bored), that pirating software is a bad things.

I've been observing linux developement since RedHat still free of charge. I'm introduced to linux since i'm 15 by my brother whose an IT guy. I think linux is nice that time but doesnt provide enough support for graphic design (since im a graphic artist). So, I dont use it that time. I remember i use mandriva 2007 as my side OS for playing. But the things that draw me back from migrating to linux is the dependencies hell. At that time, there already a lot of graphic tools for me that is production ready, such as Blender, Gimp, and Inkscape. Until I meet ubuntu :). First taste of ubuntu i try was the Ubuntu Breezy Badger, which i got the CD from free shipping program, and its free :). But, it doesnt support lot of hardware (no sound for my PC). Then i've been jumping from one linux distro to another.

I'm a full time linux user and part time Windows user right now, and I'm proud about it. Why switching to linux now? because now i have my own internet connection to solve the dependencies hell that inherited by linux. The great things about linux (I'm using Ubuntu by the way) is how easy to add and remove programs with internet connection :). Here, check out my desktop:

I'm using Ubuntu 9.10 Karmic Koala. And here is my tools:
- Compiz for windows manager (Comparable to Aero, but more advance)
- Avant windows navigator (dock tools, like on mac, or objectdock, or rocketdock)
- Blender for 3D
- Inkscape for vector editor
- The GIMP for Image / Raster editor
- Ardour for sound editing
- Audacity for sound editing